Monday, June 28, 2010

loser

28 June 2010

I’ve had my share of 'holdapers', snatchers and robbers. If it’s God’s way of telling me that I have too much than what I really need, I’ll accept it. But if this is so, then it is only reasonable that a lot more people are ‘qualified’ to fall victim to them instead of me, because I really don’t have that much, compared to others that have more ‘earthly’ things - sometimes bordering to the obscene.

So what is it then? Its either I look rich, OR I look stupid. Since the former is unlikely and the latter is relative and debatable, I offer a third option: It’s not me, it’s the environment we are in now. It seems that felons become more brazen each day, perpetrating their devilish acts even in broad daylight - not minding if you are rich or poor, old or young, stupid or bright. They just strike. Hit or miss, if a miss, they just move on to the next ‘most promising’ prey until they get a hit. These past weeks (in time for the opening of classes), incidents of robberies and homicides rose. Just recently, two girls where killed when they woke up when their house is being robbed. And then there was this guy who got mugged and shot dead by two men riding in a motorcycle... in front of bystanders.. in broad daylight. Maybe an indication that tuition fees are really that high these days and more people cannot afford the prize of education making them more desperate when it comes to acquiring ‘easy’ money. Or maybe law-enforcement became lax because just like any working adult, they too have children to tend to. Family first.

Our house was burglarized (again) two weeks ago. A lot of easy-to-carry valuables were taken, much of it was mine. While we were not at home during the incident, you can’t help think about the ‘what-ifs’. What if I was there sleeping? What if I suddenly I thought of going home early and caught the guy red-handed? Would I muster the courage to fight him off? What could have I done during those situations? - what ifs.

To tell you the truth, I’ve become a little numb to losing things. We’ve lost a Television, a stove and two of my bikes to thieves when I was a kid. The design of our house in the province is a testament of how prone we are to thievery then. During college, I’ve been threatened with a gun and an ice pick (in separate mind-numbing occasions) because some guy thought that my mobile phones were worth risking jail-time. With the ice pick incident, I gave in because the guy was already shoving that damn pointed thing in my gut. With the gun however, I somehow found the courage to look the guy straight in the eye and said ‘NO’. Maybe it’s because it was daytime and I was thinking he would not be stupid enough to pull the trigger in front of so many people. As I expected, the guy waivered a bit and I saw fear in his eyes. He, however, after realizing that I would not budge, diverted his attention to the guy next to me (my apologies to him and his girlfriend for losing their mobile phones). When our jeepney got to the terminal, some of the passengers said: “ang tapang tapang mo naman!”, “Grabe ka, pano mo nagawa un?”. That’s that. After staring at nothing for a while, contemplating what just happened, came the what-ifs.. What if the guy was THAT stupid and pulled the trigger?? BANG! – “Grabe, ang tanga tanga mo nman! mas mahalaga pa ba yang cell phone mo kesa sa buhay mo?”

What ifs... My parents always say that never take chances when it comes to situations like this. That its better to give in to a felon's demand than risk your life resisting them. Maybe that the reason why robbers abound, because they have our parent's advice to back them up. hah! If only law enforcement here in the Philippines is more efficient. These days,  even a routine bus ride home can end up bad. We are all losers. Sino pa ba sa tin ang hindi pa nabibiktima?


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Monday, May 31, 2010

giving in...

27 May 2010

It's been a while since I last gave in. When I was in college, I can still find time to let out my creative juices. Now,  I just can't simply find the drive to wield a pencil or paint brush long enough to make a decent work. Last weekend, I rummaged through my clutter and found my drawing kit. Blocking any thoughts of not continuing, I searched for my old 9" x 12" sketch pad, sat down and started to draw. It took a while before I got the hang of it, its hard getting your 'groove' back after being stagnant for about, well, let me see ....  I can't even remember the last time I gave in. So there I was, in a trance, not aware of anything but the paper in front of me. Its always like that when I draw, time just pass. The only time I realized how long its been is when my neck began to ache, and realized that I already skipped lunch.





After some time, I stood back, looked at my work, and smiled. Its only fitting the He would be the subject of my drawing. He had blessed me with this 'thing', and with this hands. Never waste your blessings. As for me, I think I would be doing this a little more often. Maybe turn it into a business - a 'sideline'. Hmmmmm.

It took me a few hours, but definitely, it was not a waste of time.


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